Exactly a year ago, our landlord of 8 years decided to sell the house we were living in and he gave us 42 days to move out. I soon realised that the rental market had drastically changed in Auckland and that it was even harder to find a suitable house for our family to afford. Disappointment followed with each viewing and the numerous rejections from property managers started getting to me. As days turned to weeks, my anxiety grew and grew. I would lay awake at night fearing the unknown and doubting how God can help our one-income family get a house in such a short time. Did I pray? Yes. Did I really, REALLY PRAY and believed for a breakthrough? Probably NOT. You see it’s easier for me to have faith that God will move for others, in fact I love hearing stories of breakthroughs, but when I see myself in a difficult situation, my humanness kicks in and my faith seems to fade. This situation was no different. I was focusing on what was going wrong and the worst case scenarios that could be. I completely forgot to build my confidence in God and not in the circumstance, and I was putting my trust in a property manager’s decision, and not in the most powerful Landlord there is. God gently and lovingly reminded me that He is the same faithful God that answered all the prayers I surrendered to Him, both for myself and the people I interceded for. He is the same God who has come through for me and my family countless times over and over. We started to fast and pray as a family and cried out to God to move on our behalf. Those were desperate prayers! We asked spiritual family to pray for us and with us. (I even showed them a photo of the house we wanted so they can visualise while they prayed). We got the house and to this day, I cannot explain how and why we were chosen among the numerous applicants. All the odds were stacked against us, but we have a bigger God behind us!
So, does this mean that I don’t get anxious when faced with a challenge? Of course not! But I have learned how to respond and react when doubt creeps in. I use it to fuel my faith a little bit more! Instead of focusing on the problem, I focus on the problem solver. Instead of throwing a pity party for myself, I invite friends to pray with me, and every single time I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach when I get anxious, I replace it with praise. I use doubt to remind me of how God has come through time and time again for me and the people I love and prayed for. God remains FAITH FULL when we are FAITH LESS.