The life I was living was purposeless. I was in a constant cycle of unfulfillment and hurt. I would work all week just so I could drink all weekend and repeat it over and over again. On the rare occasion I was feeling some sort of happiness, the feeling left just as fast as it arrived. Years of unforgiveness and bitterness turned me into a very antisocial and reserved person and looking back now, I can see that I was searching for something to fill the God shaped hole in me.
God knew what I needed and used someone close to me to speak life into me. He had been planting seeds in me through my best friend for years, so that when I finally reached the point of thinking my circumstances would never change, God spoke to me through her. He told me that things could and would change through salvation. Man, I didn’t even know what salvation meant or what that would mean for my life as I knew it, but I had tried every other way so I was willing to open my mind to any opportunity for change.
The next day, my best friend invited me to a prophecy night where Pastor Larry from Every Nation Singapore was prophesying. I didn’t really know what it was about and I was dreading it because it meant I had to be around people but I went along anyway. That night changed my life forever. God revealed to me that I needed to have hope in Him because He had a great and tremendous future ahead of me. That although the enemy had tried to steal things from me and from my personality that God was reviving me and strengthening me, and that He was pouring back new life into me. God revealed that He knew I had become so sick and bitter inside but He told me I can trust Him and He would lead me to better things.
Those words ripped right through my heart and I just cried and cried. And cried and cried and cried. I cried because it was so true and personal to me and because I finally realised that there was more to life than what I had limited it to. In that moment I decided to surrender my life to Christ. And all that He promised, he has fulfilled and more.
Just over a year has passed and I am a new creation as promised in 2 Corinthians 5:17. God has delivered me from so much brokenness and hurt I was carrying and He has given me a purpose. My happiness and self worth is now found in Him alone. God has brought me out of my shell and given me so much joy. I am finally blossoming into the woman He always intended for me to be. It definitely hasn’t been an easy journey but is being in relationship with God worth it? Absolutely.